Sunday
Morning Bible Study
October 15, 2000
Introduction
There are folks who can get swallowed up in Bible Trivia and arguing over
how many angels can stand on the tip of a needle, but whose life is in such a
mess that you’d never guess that they were Christian.
Yet if you start to understand what Jesus taught and Paul wrote about, you
find that Christianity is immensely practical.
It is not just some kind of theology about who God is, but is supposed
to change even how we relate to people.
:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the
Lord.
your own – idios –
pertaining to one’s self, one’s own, belonging to one’s self
I have to admit I had to laugh when I saw this word in the Greek, the verse
looked like it was saying, “Wives, submit to the idiot husbands …”
I know what some of you ladies are thinking. “But my husband IS an idiot!” Perhaps you think you’re
married to someone like …
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a
weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket. Hmmm...
Or …
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn’t control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give
me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the
man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”
Actually, even if you are married to an idiot, the Bible says that
wives are to submit.
submit – hupotasso – to
arrange under, to subordinate; to subject one’s self, obey; to yield to one’s
admonition or advice; A Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop
divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader”. In
non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating,
assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden”.
This is a lovely word. Actually,
NOBODY wants to hear about it, unless that is, they’re on the other side of
“submission”.
is fit – aneko – to have come up to, arrived at, to reach to; to
pertain to what is due, as was fitting
Paul is NOT saying, “Wives submit only to the things that you think are
fitting in the Lord”. But he IS saying,
that it is fitting for a Christian wife to submit to her husband.
Lesson
Submissive wives
(1 Pet 3:1 KJV) Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your
own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be
won by the conversation (better translation, “behavior”) of the wives;
(1 Pet 3:1-2 NLT) In the same way, you wives must accept the
authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your
godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over {2}
by watching your pure, godly behavior.
Peter is saying that even if your husband is an idiot, that a wife
needs to learn to submit. Why? Because it will win him over.
I believe that a wife that learns to practice godly submission will help
her husband to grow into a strong leader.
If a wife constantly makes all the decisions, how is a
husband going to learn to make good ones on his own? He won’t. He will grow in
“wimpiness”.
Your husband needs to hear your ideas, but he needs to
learn to value them on his own. Sometimes
that means that he will need to be allowed to fall on his face without being
beaten up by you in the process.
We often look at Proverbs 31 as the example to us of a godly woman. This is a picture of a strong, industrious
woman. Yet there’s a little line
mentioned about her husband:
(Prov
31:23 KJV) Her husband is known in the
gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
In ancient times, those that sat in the city gates were
leaders, they were the “elders”. Submission is part of being a godly woman. When you submit to your husband, he will
grow as a leader. They say that behind every great man is a great woman. That’s because she supports him.
:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
love – agapao – of
persons; to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly. This is God’s agape love, an
unconditional love that is based on the will and not on feelings. It is a choice to place value in the other
person. It is a love characterized by
giving.
bitter – pikraino –to make
bitter; to produce a bitter taste in the stomach; exasperate; render angry,
indignant; to be irritated; to grieve.
The verb is passive here. These
things are not to be done by the husband to himself.
Lesson
Forgiving husbands
The key to removing bitterness is forgiveness. Earlier in Colossians, Paul writes,
(Col 3:13 KJV) Forbearing one another, and forgiving one
another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so
also do ye.
The word “forgive” and “forgave” here mean literally “gracing”. We are to be “gracing” one another. We are to be giving each other something
that the other person doesn’t deserve, forgiveness.
Our example is Jesus Himself. Paul
wrote,
(Eph
5:25-27 KJV) Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; {26} That he
might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, {27} That
he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle,
or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Jesus loved us by giving Himself as a sacrifice for us,
dying on a cross to pay for our sins.
He didn’t die for us because we were nice. He died for us because we were needy and
sinful. Husbands, we don’t love our
wives because they are nice to us, but because they need our love. We don’t lay down our lives, lay down our
rights because our wives are sweet and kind, but because they need our love.
If you have trouble forgiving your spouse, could I encourage you to think
about how much Jesus has forgiven you?
The more you get in touch with the fact that Jesus has forgiven everything
you’ve ever done, the easier it will be to forgive your spouse.
:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing
unto the Lord.
obey – hupakouo
– to listen, to harken; to harken to a command; to obey, be obedient to,
submit to
well pleasing – euarestos
– well pleasing, acceptable
Illustration
Diane Kesecker writes (Christian Reader, “Kids of the Kingdom.”),
We were trying to stretch our budget while my husband, Kent, and I were in
Bible school. One night, Kent was in charge of dinner and served “shepherd’s
pie”—much to the dismay of our seven-year-old, Stephanie.
I tried to persuade Stephanie to eat. “Let’s pretend we’re missionaries and
someone invited us to their home for dinner. We must eat whatever they give to
us, so we don’t offend them.”
Stephanie wasn’t convinced. She looked at her plate, then at us, and said,
“Then let’s pretend I ate it!”
Lesson
Obedient kids
This is a difficult thing, especially when you get to the age when you
begin to realize that your parents don’t know everything and are in fact wrong
most of the time. Did you know that
this happens to almost all parents? It
is a known fact that most parents go through a stage when their kids are
teenagers in which the parents become stupid.
But hang in there, they will grow out of this, usually by the time you
are about 21.
Guys, gals, all I can tell you is to hang on and do what is pleasing to the
Lord. It pleases God for you to obey
your parents.
:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
provoke … to anger – erethizo
– to stir up, excite, stimulate, to provoke
discouraged – athumeo – to
be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit
Lesson
Kind Dads
How can we “provoke” our children?
Bad teasing – going too far, hurting the feelings of a child
Overly high expectations – wanting more from your child than they can give
or should give.
Conditional love – never letting them know that you love them or approve of
them unless they do some difficult task
Broken promises – promising something to a child and breaking the promise,
over and over and over again. The worst
broken promise is when you’re simply not there when you should be.
Abuse – every form of abuse creates anger in a child, whether it’s mental,
verbal, physical, or sexual.
Illustration
Gordon MacDonald writes, (The Effective Father)
“If a father is prone to lose his temper and to pour out uncontrolled
spates of words which hit children in the line of fire, he may find himself
living for a lifetime with a crushed son or daughter. Words which explode at an impressionable moment can shape an
entire personality.
“A forty-two-year-old man has allowed me to look into the inner recesses of
his life and see what makes him what he is today: a man who is frantically working himself into exhaustion; one who
spends every dime he makes for impressive artifacts of luxury and success; a
volatile human being whose temper explodes at the slightest hint of
disagreement of criticism. As we talk I
ask Tom to tell me about his childhood.
“At one impressionable point in boyhood, when my friend was apparently
displeasing his father with the way he was doing a chore, his father said to
him, “Tom, you will always be a bum!” Tom goes on to tell me that whenever he
and his father had angry moments, the same prediction would be repeated until
it burned its way into the boy’s spirit so deeply that, like shrapnel embedded
in flesh, the words could never be removed.
Thirty years later, Tom still suffers from his father’s verbal
malpractice. They drive him day and
night from a subconscious source to attempt to prove that his father was wrong.
Ironically, even though Tom’s father is dead, the habit patterns of Tom’s inner
life still maintain fever pitch to convince a dead father and a slightly unsure
Tom that he is not a bum. Let anyone
suggest to Tom that he is doing something wrong or that he is deficient in some
aspect of his life, and hostility, defensiveness, and furious energy are
unleashed to guard against what he senses is a resurrection of the old
accusations from a thoughtless father who verbally set the wrong pace.”
Dads, spend time with your kids.
Illustration
Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott first gained fame with his poems of
medieval families living on the English-Scottish border. Although Scott was well known, his son was
ignorant of his father’s literary fame, loving and admiring him for reasons
closer to a boy’s heart. Once, the younger Scott was in the company of some
older people who were discussing his father’s genius. “Yes,” put in the boy, “He is usually first to see the
rabbit.” Apparently Sir Walter spent a
good deal of time hunting rabbits with his son. That time together meant more to young Scott than all the novels
his father would ever write.
:22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not
with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
servants – doulos
– a slave, bondman, man of servile condition. Think of employees at work.
Fits, doesn’t it?
obey – hupakouo
– to listen, to harken; to harken to a command; to obey, be obedient to,
submit to
masters – kurios
– he to whom a person or thing belongs, about which he has power of
deciding; master, lord
eyeservice – ophthalmodouleia –
service performed [only] under the master’s eyes; for the master’s eye usually stimulates to greater diligence;
his absence, on the other hand, renders sluggish
menpleasers – anthropareskos
– studying to please man, courting the favour of men
singleness – haplotes –
singleness, sincerity, the virtue of one who is free from pretence and
hypocrisy. Not having ulterior
motives. Doing what’s right at work not
just to get a raise or a bonus, but because God is watching.
Larry Burkett writes,
“Those who are resentful about the success of others, whose feelings are
hurt because of the lack of recognition, or who use jobs as their alter egos
all suffer from the same spiritual malady: They are in service to men instead
of to God. If a Christian approaches a job with the attitude that some person
must recognize him as “better” or “best,” there almost always will be
disappointment, because the first time the boss forgets to show appreciation,
resentment creeps in.”
:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
do (1st) – poieo
– to make; to do
do (2nd) – ergazomai
– to work, labour, do work
heartily – ek psuche (“out
of the soul”) – the soul; the seat of the feelings, desires
Lesson
Work for Jesus
Who do you work for?
Illustration
Howard Hendricks was a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. He did a lot of traveling and speaking and
American Airlines made him kind of an “inspector”, a person who would write
critiques about his flights, and give the reports to the managers. He told a story about one flight, where the
stewardess did a wonderful job. Crying
babies, drunk businessmen, nothing stopped her from smiling and politely
serving. At the end of the flight, he
stopped to talk to her, to tell her that he was going to write some good things
about her. She replied, “Well Mr.
Hendricks, I don’t work for American Airlines.” Seeing he was puzzled, she continued, “I work for Jesus Christ.”
If you stop working for your employer and start working for Jesus Christ, I
guarantee you that your attitude will change.
Instead of looking at the things that bug you about work and being upset at
your employer, look at them as an assignment from Jesus. Sometimes it’s a test from the Lord to see
just how you’ll represent Him.
Even the yuckiest jobs can take on a whole new perspective when you start
working for the Lord.
:24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the
inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
receive – apolambano
– to receive; of what is due or promised
reward – antapodosis
– recompence, to reward or repay someone
inheritance – kleronomia
– an inheritance, property received (or to be received) by inheritance;
what is given to one as a possession
serve – douleuo
– to be a slave, serve, do service
Lesson
The rewards come from the one you
work for.
If you work for people, then the only place you can expect reward from is
your boss. If you’re working for Jesus, then you’ll receive rewards from Him.
Larry Burkett writes,
“It is interesting to note that the workers whose bosses praise them most
highly are usually the ones who require the least praise. It takes a lot of
energy to remember to praise someone for everything he or she does right. What
a joy it is when a boss finds a quiet, efficient, self-starter who continually
looks after the interest of other employees. Those qualities are so rare that
the boss is torn between promoting that person and keeping him or her at the
present job.”
“I have found a common characteristic in Christians who don’t rely on
praise from others: they take literally the principle of work in Colossians
3:23-24. …The key is that they look to the Lord for their rewards,
and in doing so they find God’s standards of conduct are so much higher than
men’s that they surpass any bosses’ expectations.”
:25 But he that doeth wrong shall
receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
doeth wrong – adikeo
– to act unjustly or wickedly, to sin,; to be a criminal, to have violated
the laws in some way; to do wrong; to do hurt
receive – komizo
– to care for, take care of, provide for; to carry, bear, bring to, to
carry away for one’s self, to carry off what is one’s own, to bring back
respect of persons – prosopolepsia
(“the face” + “to receive”) – respect of persons; partiality; the fault of one
who when called on to give judgment has respect of the outward circumstances of
man and not to their intrinsic merits, and so prefers, as the more worthy, one
who is rich, high born, or powerful, to another who does not have these
qualities
Lesson
God doesn’t care how important you think you are
He doesn’t make decisions because
He’s somehow impressed by you.
We ought to do the same.
Colossians 4
:1 Masters, give unto your servants
that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.
just – dikaios
– righteous, observing divine laws
equal – isotes
– equality; equity, fairness, what is equitable
give unto – parecho
– to reach forth, offer; to show, afford, supply; to exhibit or offer on
one’s own part; to render or afford from one’s own resources or by one’s own
power
Lesson
You get what you give
Because you have a Master in heaven, you can expect to get from Him what
you give to your employees.
(Luke 6:36-38 NLT) You must be compassionate, just as your
Father is compassionate. {37} “Stop judging others, and you will not be judged.
Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive
others, you will be forgiven. {38} If you give, you will receive. Your gift
will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room
for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving—large or
small—it will be used to measure what is given back to you.”
This doesn’t mean that you don’t discipline bad employees. But understand that God is watching that you
do it right, fairly, and compassionately.
Who do you work for?
This week, when you’re in the middle of a very yucky assignment, try asking
the Lord, “Is it true I’m working for You, and You’re paying attention?”