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Proverbs 13

Sunday Morning Bible Study

November 5, 2017


Do people see Jesus? Is the gospel preached? Does it address the person who is: Empty, lonely, guilty, or afraid to die? Does it speak to the broken hearted? Does it build up the church? Milk – Meat – Manna Preach for a decision Is the church loved? Regular: 2900 words Communion: 2500 words Video=75wpm

Pray for Puerto Rico outreach folks, Israel folks

Our landlords, the Lutheran church known as Friends in Christ is going to be merging with another Lutheran church known as Searchlight. The new entity will be called “Searchlight”, and they will have their services at 8:30am and 10:00am.

This will take place on December 3.

There will be some impact on our usage of rooms, and on the parking lot, but I want to encourage you to be flexible and welcome this new flock to the property.

Video: The Bible Project – Proverbs Introduction

Video: Proverbs Introduction

The book of Proverbs is all about wisdom.

Wisdom is not about knowing facts.

Wisdom is about knowing what to do with what you know.
Wisdom is knowing when to do it.
Wisdom is knowing how to do it.

We are now in a new section of the book of Proverbs.

We’ve finished the “mini-lectures” that Solomon gave to his son in the first nine chapters.

The rest of the book are what we typically call the “proverbs”.

Proverbs are sayings, typically short, that give wisdom and insight into everyday things.

They are intended to help you lead a better life.

They are not absolute promises, as in “if you do x,y, and z your life will be perfect”.

They are general principles – that if you do them your life will be generally better than if you didn’t do them.

I want to encourage you to have a pencil or pen ready as we work through each chapter.

Though we will read the entire chapter, I won’t be taking time to unpack every single proverb.

God may want to use one of the proverbs that we simply pass over to speak to you, so be ready to mark up your Bible or write down a verse.

It’s going to be a little like drinking from a fire hydrant.

The Proverbs are Hebrew poetry…

Hebrew poetry is about ideas, not sounds.

Most of these proverbs are in two lines.

Sometimes the second line is a parallel of the first. It expresses the same idea with different words.
Sometimes the second line is an opposite idea, still clarifying the first, but by way of contrast.
Be careful that you don’t look at one phrase without looking at the other.

Proverbs 13

:1 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

:1 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction


On his sixteenth birthday a son approached his father and said, “Dad, I’m sixteen now. When I get my license, can I drive the family car?” His dad looked at him and said, “Son, driving the car takes maturity, and first, you must prove that you are responsible enough. And one way you must do that is to bring up your grades. They are not acceptable. Second, you must read the Bible every day. And finally, you must get that hair cut; it looks outrageous.” The son began the task of fulfilling his father’s requirements, knowing that the last one might be impossible. When his grades came out he went to his dad with a big smile. “Look, Dad, all A’s and B’s on my report card. Now can I drive the family car?” “Very good, son. You are one-third of the way there, but have you been reading the Bible?” the father replied. “Yes, Dad, every day,” said the son. “Very good son. You are two-thirds of the way there. Now when are you going to get that hair cut?” The son, thinking that he could outsmart the father, responded, “Well, I don’t see why I should get my hair cut to drive the car. Jesus had long hair, didn’t he?” The father looked at his boy and said, “That’s right, son and Jesus walked everywhere he went.”

:2 A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth, But the soul of the unfaithful feeds on violence.

(Proverbs 13:2 The Message) The good acquire a taste for helpful conversation; bullies push and shove their way through life.

:3 He who guards his mouth preserves his life, But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.

(Proverbs 13:3 NLT) Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.

Or, as we’ve said before, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let them think you’re a fool, than to open it and dispel all doubt.”

:4 The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.

:4 the soul of the diligent shall be made rich

(Proverbs 13:4 NLT) Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper.

There’s a difference between having big dreams for your life, and doing something about it.


Rewards of Diligence

Some Christians have the notion that if they pray and study hard enough, God will automatically give them a good job and everything they’ve ever wanted.
A young man gets engaged to a young woman and goes to meet her parents over dinner. After dinner the father takes the young man outside to find out his plans for life with his daughter. “So, what are your plans?” The father asks the fiancée. “I am a Biblical Scholar” he replies. “A Biblical Scholar. Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice home for my daughter to live in, as she deserves?” The father asks. “I will study” the young man replies “...God will provide for us.” “And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” The father asks. “I will concentrate on my studies, God will provide for us.” the young man replies. “And children” the father asks “how will you support your children?” “Don’t worry sir” the young man replies “God will provide.” The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father asks a question the young man insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks about the discussion, “So, how did it go?” The father replies “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”
One of the verses God used in my life to get me where He was leading was this:
(Luke 16:10–12 NLT) —10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. 11 And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? 12 And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own?

You may feel at times that you are toiling unnoticed and unappreciated.

Even though your boss or folks at church might not know what you’re doing, God knows what you’re doing.

He rewards diligence.

:5 A righteous man hates lying, But a wicked man is loathsome and comes to shame.

(Proverbs 13:5 The Message) A good person hates false talk; a bad person wallows in gibberish.

:6 Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless, But wickedness overthrows the sinner.

(Proverbs 13:6 The Message) A God-loyal life keeps you on track; sin dumps the wicked in the ditch.

:7 There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing; And one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches.

(Proverbs 13:7 The Message) A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life.

:8 The ransom of a man’s life is his riches, But the poor does not hear rebuke.

:8 The ransom of a man’s life is his riches

Don’t think that being rich is without its problems.

A wealthy person has people trying to take their money from them.

The poor doesn’t have those kinds of troubles.

ransomkopher – price of a life, ransom, bribe

This word can be used to describe anything from the penalty for a crime, a bribe to subvert justice, or the value of a man’s life.
The wealthy have the means to be taken to court and sued, but the poor man probably won’t find himself facing too many civil lawsuits because he doesn’t have “deep pockets”.
Being rich may not be all you think it is.

:9 The light of the righteous rejoices, But the lamp of the wicked will be put out.

:10 By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.

pridezadown – pride, insolence, presumptuousness, arrogance

strifematstsah – strife, contention

well-advisedya’ats – (Niphal) to consult together, exchange counsel, deliberate, counsel together

wisdomchokmah – wisdom

(Proverbs 13:10 NLT) Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.


Pride & Advice

Sometimes it’s our pride that keeps us from listening to advice.
I find that as a leader, there’s something in me that wants to think that I’m the smartest person in the room, and sometimes I react to protect that false assumption.
Even if you are smarter than the person offering advice, or even if the person offering advice isn’t doing it in a nice or respectful manner, you are a fool if you don’t pay attention.

:11 Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, But he who gathers by labor will increase.

:11 Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished

dishonestyhebel – vapor, breath; vanity (fig.)

Half of the times this word is found is in the book of Ecclesiastes, where Solomon talks about “vanity” (“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity”)
It describes things that have no substance, just a lot of “hot air”.

will be diminishedma’at – to be or become small, be few, be diminished

(Proverbs 13:11 NLT) Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.

Stay away from “get-rich-quick schemes”.
I’m not sure there are too many verses that speak to the concept of playing the Lottery, but I think this verse applies.

:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick

It’s hard when the thing you are looking forward to doesn’t happen.


Snow White
Snow White received an old film camera as a gift. She happily took many pictures of the Dwarves and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch, she took the film to be developed. After a week or so, she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Snow White was so disappointed that she started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said kindly, “Don’t worry, someday your prints will come.”



If you are a baseball fan, once again you’ve seen this principle in action with the World Series
Video: Extended Cut of Astros Winning
The Dodgers know what “heart sick” is all about.
The Astros know that “tree of life”.
Some of you know well the disappointment of something you were counting on not happening.
Somebody else got that promotion you wanted.
Somebody you were counting on has disappointed you.
I want to focus our thoughts in a different direction with this principle.
Reality Check
For some of us, the challenge in this verse is to look at the things that we are counting on happening in the first place.

While you can still experience disappointment when you’ve had your hopes set on good things, others of us have made the mistake of putting our hopes in the wrong things.

What are your greatest desires?

If your hopes have been pinned on someone who has proven themselves untrustworthy, should you be surprised when they fail you?

(Proverbs 25:19 NKJV) Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble Is like a bad tooth and a foot out of joint.

Sometimes disappointment can become a good opportunity to reevaluate where your hopes are being put.

(Psalm 37:4 NKJV) Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

When your delight is in the Lord, your desires will change. God will be molding and shaping your heart to want more and more the things of Him.

That doesn’t mean they will all come to pass, but when God has given you a desire, your real focus is Him, not the thing.

:13 He who despises the word will be destroyed, But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded.

This can apply to God’s Word.

:13 He who despises the word

This might be talking about the wisdom of paying attention to the things people say to you, but I can’t help but think about it’s application to God’s Word.

(Proverbs 13:13 The Message) Ignore the Word and suffer; honor God’s commands and grow rich.

:14 The law of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death.

:15 Good understanding gains favor, But the way of the unfaithful is hard.

(Proverbs 13:15 The Message) Sound thinking makes for gracious living, but liars walk a rough road.

:16 Every prudent man acts with knowledge, But a fool lays open his folly.

(Proverbs 13:16 NLT) Wise people think before they act; fools don’t—and even brag about their foolishness.

:17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble, But a faithful ambassador brings health.

(Proverbs 13:17 NLT) An unreliable messenger stumbles into trouble, but a reliable messenger brings healing.

When someone is going to represent you and/or speak for you, you want it to be someone who you can count on to represent you for who you are.

:18 Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.

:19 A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul, But it is an abomination to fools to depart from evil.

(Proverbs 13:19 NLT) It is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools refuse to turn from evil to attain them.

:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.

(Proverbs 13:20 The Message) Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.

The problem is that sometimes the fools seem to have more “fun” in life.

Think about some of the things we’ve learned about fools:
They don’t tell the truth.
They don’t pay attention to correction.
They are not dependable.
They are lazy.
Does this characterize the people you like to hang out with?

:21 Evil pursues sinners, But to the righteous, good shall be repaid.

:22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

The benefit of being a “good man” is that your life will affect your grandchildren.

Living a life in rebellion against God will probably mean that your money will go to people you don’t want it to go to.

:23 Much food is in the fallow ground of the poor, And for lack of justice there is waste.

(Proverbs 13:23 NLT) A poor person’s farm may produce much food, but injustice sweeps it all away.

Just like today, poor people don’t often get justice in the courts.

A poor person’s farm might be able to provide much income, but when a bad person comes along, they will take what the poor person has.

:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

disciplinesmuwcar – discipline, chastening, correction

Somewhere along the way someone paraphrased and rewrote the proverb to be, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”.

I understand that some smart aleck kids thought this was a command instead of a warning.

In other words, “Parents you should spare the rod and you should spoil your child!”

:24 he who loves him disciplines him promptly

Solomon is equating loving your child with disciplining him.

This is the way God, the Ultimate Parent, loves His kids.

(Proverbs 3:12 NLT) For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.



I think that appropriate disciplining your children is one of the hardest parts of parenting.
Here are seven things I’ve found helpful:
1. Teaching
The goal of discipline is instruction – you are disciplining them in order to teach them something.

I used to tell my boys something like, “I don’t want you growing up to be a boy who always hurts others and no one likes. That’s why you can’t keep acting like this.”

2. The Paddle
There are quite a few websites telling parents about how bad it is to use corporal punishment on your children, but I think that’s because when it’s done, it’s often done incorrectly.
When our boys were growing up, we used a “paddle” for discipline. It was a big flat paddle that spread the sting of spanking evenly across their little bums.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God designed our bums with lots of padding.

Your goal is not to inflict damage on the child, but to make their bum sting a little.

Personally, I prefer the paddle because things like belts, hairbrushes, and spoons don’t spread the pain as evenly.

We preferred a paddle over spanking with a hand because we didn’t want our children looking at our hands as something thing that caused them pain.
We kept the paddle out of view on top of our microwave, so the boys didn’t have to stare at it all day. But when they were in trouble and we started to walk toward the microwave, they knew we were serious about what had just happened.

Sometimes all we needed was to start towards the microwave.

We never paddled a child in front of the other children. Paddling was done in a separate room, so the child is not embarrassed in front of others.
We didn’t paddle every day.  I’m not sure our boys were paddled more than a dozen times as they grew up.
Not every child responds to something physical like a paddle. As the kids got older we found other methods of discipline. You as the parent are responsible for finding what your kids will respond to.
3. Anger
Don’t spank when you’re angry. You don’t discipline because your child has offended you by breaking your rules, you discipline them to instruct them.
Anger in you only breeds anger in the child.
When I was angry, I used to take the paddle and paddle myself to shake it off.
Paddling a child when you’re angry can lead to physical abuse. If you can’t stop being angry, you will need to find another method of discipline than a paddle because physical abuse is never acceptable.  If your paddling breaks the skin or results in a bruise, you are spanking too hard.
4. Appropriate
Know what is appropriate – make the time fit the crime. Sometimes a paddle is not appropriate.
Sometimes a time out or revoking video games is more appropriate.
We would give out 1, 2, or 3 swats depending on the severity of the “crime”. No more than 3.
Again, we didn’t paddle all that often.
5. Age & Action
Your child must be old enough to tell you what they did was wrong.

An infant is too young to be disciplined.

But once they are old enough to talk to you, you need to take action – don’t put it off.

Chinese Proverb – “Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes.”

Dr. Dobson – “The parent must convince himself that discipline is not something he does to the child; it is something he does for the child.”

6. Authority
One of discipline’s goals is to teach your child respect for those in authority.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you don’t deserve respect.

If you allow your child to speak disrespectfully to you, you are opening the door to them disrespecting others in authority over them when they grow up.

A key to getting along in society is learning to respect the proper authority.

When you’re married, stick up for your spouse – don’t allow your children to be disrespectful towards your spouse.

It’s hardest when you have to be the one to teach them to respect you – but you have a reason – you are teaching them to respect authority, not just you. This is hardest on single moms.

7. Love
Discipline must be coupled with love

“I love you too much to let you behave like that.” (James C. Dobson)

After a child has received their discipline, understands what they did wrong, can clearly tell you what they did wrong, and have made things right with any other persons they’ve hurt…

Then you need to respond with forgiveness, comfort, and love.

:25 The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul, But the stomach of the wicked shall be in want.

:25 The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul

(Proverbs 13:25 The Message) An appetite for good brings much satisfaction, but the belly of the wicked always wants more.


The Right Diet

One of the hardest things about going on a diet is dealing with your hunger pains.
I’ve learned that a big part of the problem stems from the kinds of foods you’re eating.
If your diet is too high in carbs and sugars, you’re going to be hungry all the time.
That doesn’t just work for our stomachs, it works for our soul as well.
If you are feeding your soul with spiritual junk food, you will never feel “satisfied”.

What you eat affects what you get hungry for.

Jesus and His disciples had been busy and were looking to take a break. They headed off to the northeast coast of the Sea of Galilee near the town of Bethsaida (Luke 9:10). But they didn’t get their alone time, instead 5,000 people showed up.
Video: The Gospel of John – Jesus Feeds 5,000 (John 6)
We often look at this miracle and think about how Jesus “multiplied” the loaves and fish, try thinking about it like this–

Jesus fed the people with what seemed to be “very little”.

It’s kind of like that diet thing – when you settle into your diet, it doesn’t take much to make you full because your stomach and body have adjusted to your new diet.

The next day (after the walking on water event), Jesus and His disciples were in the synagogue at Capernaum – and dealt again with this issue of people being “fed”.
(John 6:35 NKJV) And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.

I think that sometimes we are eating too much “junk food of the world”, and we find that we are constantly hungry for more and more.

My friends, we need to decrease our intake of the “world”, and look more to Jesus.

He can satisfy that hunger inside of you.