Psalm 45

Sunday Morning Bible Study

November 9, 2003

The Perfect Marriage

Some people treat getting married as if they’re getting into trouble. It’s not supposed to be a bad thing. It’s a good thing.

Illustration

New Wedding Vows

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?” The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes.” The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.” The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, “She made me a much better offer.”

Are you looking for the perfect marriage? Does it look like your marriage? Does it look like your parents’ marriage?

To the chief Musician upon Shoshannim, for the sons of Korah, Maschil, A Song of loves.

Shoshannim – shuwshan – “lily”; this may refer to a type of instrument, or it may refer to the name of the tune.

Maschil – maskiyl – (Hiphil) poem, song or poem of contemplation; a song that teaches.

loves – y@diyd – one beloved, beloved; Some translate this phrase “a wedding song”; this is a word very closely related to the name of David which means “beloved”

There have been various suggestions as to who wrote this Psalm and when it was written. My personal feeling is that it was probably written by David. Though it may have been written for his son Solomon’s wedding to the daughter of Pharaoh, there are some things that just don’t quite fit.

:1-5 The King’s Glory

:1 My heart is inditing a good matter

inditing – rachash – (Qal) to keep moving, stir; The writer’s heart is boiling over with sentiment for the occasion.

:2 Thou art fairer than the children of men

The Psalmist loves this king. This king is no ordinary guy.

:5 Thine arrows are sharp

This is a warrior King apparently riding on a horse with a sword at his side.

:6-9 The King is God

:6 Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever

Some have suggested that the Psalmist is simply saying that the king is sitting on the throne that God gave him. Others have said that since the word for God (elohim) can be used for judges or rulers, that he’s simply calling this king a ruler.

Yet we don’t have to guess about this. We have a commentary in the Bible on this passage that tells us exactly what this means. In Hebrews 1, the author is making a point to show how Jesus is much better than the angels:

(Heb 1:4-9 KJV) Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they. {5} For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my Son, this day have I begotten thee? And again, I will be to him a Father, and he shall be to me a Son?

Who is the “he” that is speaking about the Son? It’s the Father, God Himself saying these things.

{6} And again, when he bringeth in the firstbegotten into the world, he saith, And let all the angels of God worship him. {7} And of the angels he saith, Who maketh his angels spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire.

Angels are simply “ministers”, but the Son was someone who was worshipped by the angels.

{8} But unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom. {9} Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

Again, who’s speaking here? It’s God the Father. God the Father is calling Jesus “God”.

Though this passage may have been written originally for a historical event such as Solomon’s wedding, we know that it is speaking prophetically about Jesus.

:7 Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

anointed – mashach – to smear, anoint, spread a liquid; The title “Messiah” means “anointed one”. Kings and priests were anointed with a special ointment made of olive oil, myrrh, cinnamon, calamus, and cassia (Ex. 30:22-25).

When David was a boy, years before he actually became king he was anointed to become king by the prophet Samuel:

(1 Sam 16:13 KJV) Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel rose up, and went to Ramah.

Because of this we see that this “anointing” was a symbol of the work of the Holy Spirit on a person.

gladness – sasown – gladness, joy, exultation, rejoicing

Lesson

Joy from righteousness

Because the king loved good things and hated bad things, God has given him the oil of gladness.

Jesus was a happy fellow, more so than anyone else. His joy came from his love for what is good.

Sin brings sadness. Holiness brings gladness.

There may be pleasure in sin for a season (Heb. 11:25), but ultimately it brings darkness and depression.

Sometimes we go through God’s chastening because we’ve been doing something sinful, something stupid. And the chastening isn’t exactly fun:

(Heb 12:11 KJV) Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

When we learn to complete the workout the chastening gives us, the result is good things, righteousness, which is a “peaceable” thing in our life.

Don’t choose the wrong things. Choose the right things.

:9 Kings' daughters were among thy honourable women

It sounds like a wedding procession.

:10-17 The King’s Bride

:10 forget also thine own people, and thy father's house;

This seems to be advice now given to the Bride.

Lesson

Putting away the past

A marriage is supposed to be based on “leaving” and “cleaving”. You are to leave your family and close relationships and cleave to your spouse.

(Gen 2:24 KJV) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This doesn’t mean that you never talk to your parents, but it means that they are no longer the most important relationship in your life, as your spouse is supposed to be.

I think that one of the things we need to learn to “leave behind” are the things that bug us about each other.

Illustration

Honeymooning at the Watergate

A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, DC. The bride is concerned. “What if the place is still bugged?” The groom says “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, and under the rug. “Aha” Under the rug was a disc with 4 screws. He gets his screwdriver, unscrews the screws and throws the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds “How was your room?” “How was the service?” “How was your stay at the Watergate?” The groom says “Why are you asking me all of these questions?” The hotel manager says “Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them.”

You get yourself into trouble if you spend too much time looking for those things that bug you.

As believers, we are to put away the old. God has given us a new life, a new family.

It’s not that we necessarily stop talking to anyone who is not a Christian. God wants to use you in their lives. But it means that they no longer have the place in your life that they once had. Jesus is to take that place.

(Luke 14:25-27 KJV) And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, {26} If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. {27} And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

:11 So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty

There seems to be the idea here in the King James (as well as NAS) that if the bride will forget her own people (vs. 10), then the king will desire her beauty.

(Psa 45:10-11 NASB) …Forget your people and your father's house; Then the King will desire your beauty

For those of us who have chosen to forsake the world and follow Jesus, God considers us beautiful.

greatly desire – ‘avah – (Hithpael) to desire, long for, lust after (of bodily appetites)

Lesson

Jesus is in love with you

It doesn’t even matter if you don’t think you are worthy of being desired or loved.

Some gals have this crazy notion that they aren’t very beautiful. Some of the most beautiful women I know think these kinds of silly things.

Yet in reality with Jesus it really doesn’t matter whether or not YOU think you’re beautiful, because He thinks you are.

(Zep 3:17 KJV) The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Learn to enjoy His love. Receive it.

You have value because of the price He paid for you, not your own intrinsic worth.

Illustration

Whose Hands?

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19. A basketball in Shaq’s hands is worth about millions. It depends whose hands it’s in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6. A baseball in Sammy Sosa’s hands is worth millions. It depends on whose hands it’s in.

A golf club is useless in my hands. But put it in the hands of Tiger Woods, and it’s worth some money. It depends whose hands it’s in.

A rod in my hands might drive away a wild animal. A rod in Moses’ hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it’s in.

A sling shot in my hands is a kid’s toy A sling shot in David’s hand brought down a giant. It depends whose hands it’s in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches. Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in Jesus’ hands will feed thousands. It depends whose hands it’s in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse. Nails in Jesus Christ’s hands will produce salvation for the entire world. It depends whose hands it’s in.

By yourself you may indeed be worthless or ugly. But if you’re in His hands, you have great value. Your value comes from the fact that He values you. Your value comes from the price He paid for you.

(1 Pet 1:18-19 KJV) Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; {19} But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

If you were bought at an auction for 100 million dollars, would you consider yourself valuable? Yet God has paid a far greater price for you. He’s paid for you with the blood of His own Son.

Jesus is so in love with you that He laid down His very life for you.

:13 The king's daughter is all glorious within

within – p@niymah – toward the inside, within, faceward

Some translations have suggested that this is talking about how beautiful the bride looks while she’s getting dressed inside her bedroom. Others have suggested that the wedding dressed might have been lined with gold.

But I like the way the King James puts it, “all glorious within”.

Lesson

Inner beauty

In America, we put great importance on looking good.

Illustration

In the United States each year, we collectively buy 1,484 tubes of lipstick (at a cost of $4,566), 913 bottles of nail polish ($2,055), 1,324 mascaras, eyeshadows, and eyeliners ($6,849), and 2,055 jars of skin care products ($12,785) every minute. That’s $1,581,300 an hour, folks.

Today, beauty product marketing represents an almost $17 billion-per-year business in the U.S., with an annual expenditure per person of about $70, compared to $40 million in 1914 when per capita spending ran about 40 cents each year.

Peter tells us we ought to put importance on other things:

(1 Pet 3:3-4 NASB) And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; {4} but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

It’s not a bad thing to take care of your appearance, whether you’re a guy or a gal.

Illustration

Like the family that was getting ready to go to church. The 3 yr. old walked up to the mother and said, “What are you doing, Momma?” “I’m trying to fix my hair” replied the mother. The child studied the mother for a minute and then replied, “Try again”.

We need to put more attention on what the inside looks like.

(Prov 31:30 KJV) Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

:17 therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever.

The Father is promising the Son that He will be praised for ever.

All this imagery of a groom who is a reigning warrior King and His bride wearing wedding garments is also found in another part of the Bible:

(Rev 19:7-16 KJV) Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. {8} And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. {9} And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

{11} And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. {12} His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. {13} And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. {14} And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. {15} And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. {16} And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.